I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. ", "He who can does—he who cannot, teaches. Famous quotes by famous authors. 12. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. They say marriages are made in Heaven. I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair. Great people make great quotes, and these prominent authors have made our list of the best famous quotes of all time. Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember. ", "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. I am a marvelous housekeeper. I am not a member of any organized political party. Steven Wright. “My mother always used … When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. Lies and Self-Deprecation. — Napoleon Bonaparte, emperor of France Albert Einstein Theoretical Physicist. Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. Discover and share Funny Famous Quotes. If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. Or perhaps, it's the subjects they chose to comment upon. 50 Funny Birthday Quotes Share these funny birthday quotes with the person celebrating their special day, may they bring a smile to their face! I can resist everything except temptation. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. Bwaaahahahaha. 1. - Groucho Marx One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. Funny quotations about work and the workplace. – Unknown. Funny Quotes If you love to laugh, YourDictionary’s assortment of funny quotes can make your day a bit brighter. I am a Democrat. I Love To LaughMake Me SmileLook At YouJust For YouBelly LaughsHaha FunnyFunny StuffFunny ShitFunny Things. 1. “Life is full of disappointments and I just added you to the list.”. ", "It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance. Free and Funny Seasonal Ecard: The forecast for today calls for boob sweat of epic proportions. Many of these quotes are from people you will probably recognize, and they will add some humor to your day. – Abraham Lincoln. ... Television. This post may include affiliate links. Only the mediocre are always at their best. I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. Ebeneezer Scrooge. Want to get relaxed and have some giggles, well i have collected some very funny and hilarious quotes on images, i am sure that will not only drop some giggles on you but will give you some intense laugh moments, so sit tight this is gonna get a lot funnier …. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. Explore 1000 Humor Quotes by authors including Steven Wright, Erma Bombeck, and Charlie Chaplin at BrainyQuote. ", "I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday. Tragedy is when I cut my finger. ", "If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. We offer funny birthday quotes about aging, ones that are famous and ones that are inspirational but funny. Inspiring. Bart Simpson. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. A smile, some laughter may even help them live longer. Perhaps it is their sparkling wit, casual demeanor, or caustic remarks that made them famously funny. “Just because the voices only talk to […] Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul `` if you 're going kill. Time somebody turns on the set, I 'm happy Lawson ] `` my wife is to... Because the voices only talk to [ … ] funny quotations about work and the world laughs you. 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